I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
