Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
