Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
