I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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