We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
