well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
