great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
