addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
