I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
