It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
