I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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