Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What drink are we having for lunch?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
