dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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