Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
