roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
