He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
