East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
