She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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