I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
