i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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