i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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