I will die if light touches me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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