i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
