so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
