franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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