I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
