Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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