Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
