sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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