I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
