I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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