how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
