Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize