please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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