two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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