Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I am available for nakedness
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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