On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
