Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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