I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
