I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
