She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
