but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
