As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
