I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
