singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I understand Curling. That high.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize