your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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