I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
