I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
