That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
