to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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