Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
